I had this in me; call it an instinct or intuition, I was always able to tell when it was the last time I would ever get to meet a person or visit a place.

And I think this the worst type of intuition you would ever want to have. 

Believe me, it’s not easy to know you will never see your best friends or people you love again. 

It’s not easy to know you will never visit your home again. 

Back to you 

Your love has made me

of fumes and Ashes. 

Of clanking bottles and crashes. 

And it has made me bleed in

all the shades of crimson to black

and addicted to the places

a bit too dangerous. 

It has made me cry 

in everything but tears. 

All these years. 

But I hope, one day, 

I would get to return

all the chaos

back to you